I had to post this. It's one of the duties listed in a job posting for a magazine editorial assistant:

"Help prepare Power Point and Seasonal presentations by gathering tears"

Seriously.

I suppose I would rationally have to say no, it wasn't. But it does feel that way.

I guess it was just such a world away from everything. A different place with different people. It could very well have been a dream. In any case, it was a very worthwhile and unforgettable dream.

Let's go back a bit: ( July 5, 2008 )

So, looking back, those weren't terrible things to deal with. I think it was just all those things at once. As it turns out...

1. Uh, I scratched that one off. So never mind.

2. The work week just took getting used to. I eventually got comfortable thinking of the job as a "work when I have to" gig. I found a few hours here and there to do stuff, although I suppose I technically worked at least a couple of hours every day. Besides, I liked my job, more or less, especially when I was in charge 'cause I enjoy the administrative side of things.

3. I never totally got over being homesick, I don't think. By that I mean I never felt totally at home there, but I didn't expect to. I just couldn't help thinking about all the familiar comforts back here, which happened less often near the end of the two months. Anyway, it's hard to say if I would have ever felt at home on Molokai, even after six months or so. I do think this was really good practice for some other gig in the future when I'll want to live away for even longer. So yay!

4. The whole roommate thing got so much easier after Laura left, I'm sorry to say. I think the whole 'thrown into a crisis' thing brought everyone else closer. Plus, it was easier feeling like a part of the group when there were only three of us. Like I said before, I was surprised by how much I missed Jenn and Dre after they both left. So that's a good lesson. If I give myself the time to get comfortable with people, I'll probably learn to like them, and it gets easier after every day, every conversation, every crisis.

5. Ha! Now that I'm back, I miss driving. I'm actually going nuts waiting for buses and commuting an hour or two hours to get around. I wish I was back in Hawaii with my sweet ride and rolling hills... Srsly.

6. As I think we've already established on here, I just need to find a place in journalism that's a right fit. And this experience showed me I don't want to be in newspapers, which is good. Process of elimination, really. So no time wasted, at all.

And there you have it! I'm going to package up these last two months, take away as much as I can, and be content with it. Now, I'm excited to move on to something else.

So yeah, I've been home about four days now, and reality has actually bitch slapped me pretty hard.

My computer just flat out broke while trying to use it during my four-hour stopover in Denver (they're going to try and save my files, but the computer's a goner). I'm ridiculously broke, myself (and now I suppose I'll have to get a new laptop). And, like I said, I'm pretty annoyed with buses right now, especially with how much it costs to get from Brampton to Toronto, in time and money. But that may just be because I've spent three nights this week in Toronto. That will slow down, I hope. I just need to take it really easy until I can dig myself out of debt.

Otherwise, it's good to be home. :) The end.

I'm just a few tollbooths away from the border into "be careful what you wish for" territory.

My line for telling people when they ask me if I'm sad or excited to be going home has been: "Glad to have been here; glad to be going home." Which is mostly true. If it were at all possible to have all the advantages of being home while still living here, I'd be set.

Our newest intern, Albert, really isn't working out and I'm in the "send him home!" camp. So thoughts of "wouldn't you like to stay for just a few more weeks to help them out?" have entered my mind, or have been created by my mind - that's a weird expression, "entered my mind," where did the thoughts come from and who's entering them into my mind???

Anyhoo, the thing that seals the deal for me is that as much as I'd like to live here a bit longer, I don't want to work at the paper anymore (I. Am. Burnt. Out.), so I'm pretty damn happy to be unemployed again, even if that means bumming around my house in Brampton for a while. And, hey, here's to working without a VISA for two months! Ha, take that USA! CA-NA-DA! CA-NA-DA!

Well, I should try to enjoy my last day here. We're going to Yamashita Bay this morning to see these guys off who are going to paddle around the island, since Kanoe is going to bless the journey (See? Isn't she cool???). After that, I'm going to the farmer's market, and then to the office to debrief Todd, who returned from his honeymoon last night.

Oh, and - as is customary - I'm working on a goodbye piece for the paper, but I think I need to go home for a while, reflect on things, and then write it. When it's done, I guess I can post it here. Woot. So look for that. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's because I'm either at home or... well, let's just assume I'll be home.

I've just been working, and sleeping in an effort not to get sick since my last post.

I may give up on the rainforest and La`au Point. But I still want to go fishing, and to visit the temple. I also may still go to the mac nut farm, but that's very up in the air.

One thing that's for sure is I will go to the farmer's market on Saturday. I want to see the pretty flowers for sale and all the knick knacks. I think that's all I can handle right now.

I'm so jumpy and distracted, it's crazy. I can't wait to go home. HOME.... I don't think Catherine gets that I'm not that upset about not going to the rainforest. Besides the fact that it's not exactly the Amazon over here, I feel like I've done so much already, I don't need anything else to go home completely satisfied - which is actually a great feeling.

In the meantime, I have to pick up our newest intern from the airport this morning. His name is Albert. Excitement! PAZOW!

So Sunday was our production day, and it went really well, actually. We finished earlier than the previous week, so I was pretty happy with that. I ended up doing a lot myself, though, because Catherine took a while doing her stuff - which was understandable considering it was her first week. I lucked out though, 'cause she's handling everything really well.

I even took a break and finally went down to Coffees of Hawaii, got an absolutely orgasmic mocha mama (seriously, I haven't had any kind of coffee drink that's this good anywhere else) and saw the musicians who play there on Sundays. I'd never been because we always work on Sundays, but I forced myself to find time.

Then on Monday after sending the paper to print and having our story meeting, Catherine and I went to the beach. She really wanted to go because she hadn't been yet, and she was pretty excited about getting me into the water. She seemed convinced that it'd be really easy to swim - almost as convinced as Jenn and Dre were that I could drive the manual car on the east end. Haha.

But it was good, actually. I went kind of far in, enough that it was coming up to my shoulders when I was sitting down. I even managed to float a bit, with my butt still kind of on the ground though... Anyway, I got her to take a photo as proof. That water is way too salty, though. Ew. That was probably my last time at the beach here, so I made sure to soak it all up (pun intended) and I filled a bottle (or two) with sand.

On the way back, I showed her some sights, and we stopped at this little church, took pictures of Uncle Leimana's coconut shack and tried to find a temple in the area (we couldn't find it, so I'm going to try again after asking Kanoe for directions).

On the way back, Catherine - who is obsessed with getting a coconut, but doesn't want to buy one 'cause there are coconut trees EVERYWHERE - stopped at this piece of beach and we saw all these holes where crabs were hanging out for the night. And then we tried to find heavy coconuts. Didn't find any. That's that.

As soon as we got back, we went back out to Kanoe's hula class (without showering...) and it was intense. Hula here (the birthplace of hula!) is very spiritual and, well, specific, and uh, difficult. It's not our hotel let's-learn-hula class, at all. We had to enter the room chanting and do an opening dance for protocol. Catherine and I just tried to follow along as best as possible.

Kanoe was awesome, 'cause she was drumming and singing (actually, chanting) these Hawaiian legend songs. Plus she's an amazing dancer. I really liked it, and I wish I had gone sooner and more often. I was pretty exhausted by the end of it, but it was totally worth it.

Anyway, that night was when I started to feel sick. I'm currently drinking orange juice and trying not to get really sick. Here's hoping.

Today, we tried to go up to the rainforest, but it didn't go so well. It's a bit past the Waikolu Lookout that I love so much, so I got to show Catherine that, which was great. We took Todd's truck, 'cause I thought it had four-wheel drive, but it apparently didn't...

So we drive up there, and it's not so bad on the bumpy roads. I, of course, asked Catherine to drive, but I directed. Unfortunately, after the lookout, the road gets REALLY bad. We stalled out a few times, rolled back, got stuck... and then we got to this one bit of road that was really steep and pretty much just loose, sharp rocks. We tried going up three times, but couldn't get up. So we ended up parking somewhere and tried to hike it. We walked for a bit, but I eventually asked to go back because I didn't think we had enough time (I had to get to work eventually) and I was having a hard time with all the uphill walking. So we go back and actually try driving up once more, but we get stuck again and actually BURN RUBBER. We both decide we don't want to ruin Todd's truck, so we head back.

I'll try to go again, but I really won't be too disappointed if I don't go. I've seen so much here already, and I do want to come back one day, anyway.

Plus, it was worth the trip because we stopped at the woodcarver's place and actually went in to see the guy this time. The first time, Kanoe, Dre and I just took pictures at the entrance, but as Catherine and I were there, the guy (I think his name is Robin) walked by from his house to his working shed and, in a really adorable, old man way, casually waved us in.

So Catherine and I go in, and it's the most charming place ever. The restroom by the gate has two toilets... with no divider, and phone books for toilet paper. And the sign above his entrance to the actual shed is "Ring Bell / Honk Horn / Yell Loud" and the map he has is hand drawn and says "U Hear" at the point on the map where his house is.

So we go in, and he's got part of his thumb missing and an unlit cigar permanently between his lips as he talks. And he seems really into showing us around (it's a tour thing he does), and he actually has some amazing pieces. His work is apparently all over the world, and he has little bits of masking tape beside each one with the number of hours he spent doing them. You figure out the price by figuring $10 per hour.

He ends up showing us all around, and his dog was really obnoxious... I loved how when he needed to turn a light on, he just stuck his hand into a can hanging from the ceiling and twisted the bulb in. Anyway, he drew us a map of the area (which we didn't ask for, but which I kept as a souvenir), and then told us how he used to fly a helicopter and went into all these amazing places on Molokai. He told us about this one area where he was under these waterfalls and saw all these circular rainbows, and I swear, I could picture it too.

So that was that. We headed back to town, stopped by Coffees again (got White Mac Nut Delights which were sooooo good, and sweet potato chips, which weren't great), and then went to work.

On the way back, we stopped again at the big coconut grove and Catherine finally got herself a coconut. I was very happy for her. Unfortunately, she doesn't have a machete, and it's currently just sitting on the counter. I'm sure she'll get it open though...

Meanwhile, I love making Catherine the main reporter (you need to get accustomed to covering these issues, I say!), 'cause I could actually relax a bit today. Of course, I still have stuff to do, but not so much running around, which is nice.

Today I actually had time to go to some of the shops in town. I really wanted to buy a shirt from Fish & Dive, because they make a whole bunch of Molokai-themed shirts. To my delight, I found one I liked and now I think my shopping is just about done, except for going to the farmer's market on Saturday.

I can't buy too much, though, because I did some preliminary packing tonight and I'm really low on room. Plus, I was mentioning to Kanoe that I want to go to the macadamia nut farm to get some for my mom, and she said something like "Uh, you don't have to worry about that." She always gets the interns goodie bags when they go home, so I'm sure she's got some stuff for me. That's actually awesome, because I don't have to worry about going out to the farm if I don't get time. Plus, I'm excited to see what she put in there. :D

Phew, okay, I should sleep and try not to get sick. Just four days left! Mwah!

Kidding.

But seriously, it sucks how just as I'm getting comfortable here, I'm leaving. It's like achieving something and then not getting to use it.

I can actually say "aloha" and "mahalo" without self consciousness. I know how to get places (more or less). I can drive that manual car without stalling, even on hills. I was in charge of the paper this week and I just sent it to the printers without fail. And now I'm leaving.

Also, it's pretty sweet here. I have a house and a car (both free in exchange for my many services), and all my time (outside of work) is my own to go and get a mocha mama from Coffees or visit the coconut grove. I've never lived that like before. I may miss that when I'm in my house checking bus schedules.

But I guess I can take everything that I've learned and apply it somewhere else, right? And besides, if I stayed longer, things would probably get stale and I'd get bored. Plus, I miss EVERYTHING at home. Especially my mom. :)

On a side note, it hit me last night as I was laying out the paper that what I'm doing is so similar to Excalibur. It's like the same job putting together a community newspaper, just in a different community.

That being said, I'm still not totally sold on newspaper reporting. I definitely want to transition to magazines now. Forget spending the next couple of years trying to be good enough for the Star. That would just be forcing it.

Anyway, I may end up learning something else while I'm here. Catherine found out I can't swim and she is DE-TERMINED to teach me today so I can at least swim once in the ocean before I leave Hawaii. lol Well, I have no problems letting her try, as long as she doesn't let me drown. So that's where I'm off to today. I love Mondays; it's our only real "day off," so I'm going to use it wisely.

*splashes away*

I will forever associate two songs with this summer:

"I'm Yours," Jason Mraz and "I Kissed a Girl," Katy Perry.

Both will be associated with driving to/from the beach with Jenn and Dre with the sun setting and being really chill and happy, with the hills rolling by and waving my hand in the wind. I will also laugh everytime I hear "I Kissed a Girl" because Jenn hated it with a passion.

Before I forget even more stuff worth posting about:

On my first day at work with Catherine (that poor girl), I got a call at the intern house saying that unless the cable company got $197 by noon, we'd lose our Internet. So as I tried to problem-solve that, we got another message saying that unless the electric company got something over $600, we'd lose our power on Monday (this was Thursday, but they only have office hours on Tuesday and Thursday until noon!).

So we ended up paying the cable bill with a cheque from the newspaper (which I had to drop off in person), and I put half the electric bill on my credit card while Todd's grandma paid the rest. Thankfully, today Todd's dad, Bruce, paid me back what I charged. lol I stayed cool under pressure, though. And this was on top of training Catherine, dealing with my own work and we had to distribute the paper that day.

Of course, the good part was that every day since then has been easy by comparison.

It's Saturday. I leave next Saturday. That's one week!

I'm so excited. Everything takes on a whole new flavour when you know it's the last time you're going to do it, or see it, or be there. So even going to the grocery store for what will likely be the last time was awesome. And that 3-hour twice-a-month meeting that I'm going to on Wednesday that will be my last? It will be very bittersweet.

Plus, it's crazy how I'm finally getting around to doing things now. I've totally not been taking advantage of my time here so far. (Although I don't feel that bad about it; even I can give myself a break considering how short-staffed we've been.)

Last night I went to a concert/party thing at Paddlers, which was okay. I got a lei made up of purple orchids! Score! Then today, Kanoe invited Catherine and I to a lei-making workshop her hula halau (school) was hosting and I got to use my lei from the previous night to learn how to make one. It was awesome sauce. I totally used banana leaves and this straw stuff and I totally kicked ass. I'll try to find the materials to make some when I get home.

And on Thursday Catherine and I are going to a free Hawaiian language class. Unfortunately, she'll be able to continue with it and I won't. But I've learned quite a few words, at least. In short, having Catherine around is nice 'cause I have more motivation to do stuff like that 'cause she's new and wants to do them, too.

However, I kind of feel lame for only coming for two months and craving home. Six months would have been great - I could have done so much more - but I really feel that I'd rather be home. That kind of makes me feel soft. I have one friend who's going to be in Malawi for what I think is seven months, and then there are these interns here who have no problem (well, supposedly no huge qualms) about being here for half a year. I wonder if I'll ever be able to move away and live somewhere abroad for more than two months, or even at all again.

Of course, right now, I just want to be home, and it's not like it's keeping me up at night.

Oh, and being in charge of the paper is going fine, so far. We'll see how next week goes. And! I totally have to post about everyone I'm met here, like the interesting characters. Grrr, I'll try to do that on Monday...

Right now, though, I have to write a bunch of stories and then get to bed. We're getting up super early to hike to La`au. Woot.

(By the way, I tried sending you a lj message, Rasia, 'cause I don't have your email address. Can you email me - zalina.alvi@gmail.com - and let me know if you still want to get together, and if so, when? :D Thanks.)

So Dre and Jenn are gone, and I'm at the house with our newest intern, Catherine. She's currently fixing up her room after a long first day at the office.

It's weird living and working with someone new. It's only been a few weeks, but I'm really surprised by how much I miss Dre and Jenn. It took so long to get comfortable with my roommates, and now I'm starting all over. But it is different. Besides the fact that I'm leaving in about a week anyhow, I'm also the one who's been here longer and she's the newbie. That should be fun, I guess, or a power trip or something, but it's more just tiring. Explaining how things work and training someone is an awful lot to add to what I'm already doing at the paper. I'm freakin' exhausted.

Thankfully, I'm so excited to be going home in a little over a week that it's okay. Plus, I'm even looking forward to running around and finally going to the places I haven't been to yet and all the things I still need to do. I also need to buy stuff. I'm really starting to think it'd be nice to come back sometime, maybe in the next few years, when I can swim and rent a car and have lots of free time. Plus, I'll know people and can probably stay with someone here. And! I can bring someone or some people so I can share Molokai with them.

In the meantime, I'm trying to commit everything to memory. So here are things I'll want to remember:

1. All the creepy crawly things. Our house regularly sees giant cockroaches and geckos. We occasionally see spiders (mostly that one giant cane spider), tiny centipedes and tiny scorpions, both of which are supposed to bite (and it hurts).

2. The slightly larger wildlife. I absolutely cannot get used to cats, cranes, chickens and mongoose running around like squirrels. Plus, it is a wild misconception that roosters only crow at dawn.

3. Fish tacos, mango salsa, hot bread, those lunch plates from the drive-inn with fish, rice and potato salad, mocha mamas from Coffees of Hawaii, and chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.

Oddly, that's about all I can recall now. 9 more days!

Although I'm not IN love with Molokai, I do love it. Every time I visit a place that is absolutely unphotographically beautiful, I marvel at how lucky I am to be here, and to get to be a part of this place, even for just a little while.

I just wanted that written down, just in case I forget.

Most people take trips off-island to get away from Molokai, which is wonderful, but often causes island fever. So it was ironic (the Alanis Morisette kind, not the literary kind) that I was so relieved to get back here.

Dre picked me up from the airport and told me how they'd had a hard time dealing with stuff while I was gone, which made me feel horrible about being away. But they were so nice about it... which actually made it worse. A lot of stories had come up, plus someone had been nasty to Jenn, so overall sucky.

But then we went out for dinner for Jenn's semi-last night, and that was really good. Hotel Molokai is the only "nice" restaurant around, so we went there. Kanoe joined us later, and then we hung out on the hammocks by the water and smoked (I smoked a vanilla-flavoured cigar I got in Kona). That's one of those moments I'd like to package. If it were a website, I'd have bookmarked it. Hehe, I like that as a pick-up line. "If you were a website, I'd bookmark you." Sweet.

Anyway, after that we got hot bread (it's a necessary "I'm leaving tomorrow" thing to do," and then went down to the wharf and hung out there. I love outings like that, 'cause we all have similar senses of humour and that's always fun. Almost Excalibur level. :)

It's too bad though that Jenn's last night wasn't her last night. We actually had to work all Sunday (production day), so that's why we went out Saturday night. 'Cause we're so short-staffed we were at the office until 1 a.m. (11 p.m. is usually a late night for us). I felt pretty bad about that, too.

Anyway! Jenn left Monday morning and I already miss her. I got to put out the paper myself that morning. I think it's hilarious that I'm an intern who's been here for about six weeks, and I just proofed and sent the paper to print myself. And now I get to be main reporter, editor-in-chief and layout person for the next two issues. We'll see how that goes.

Later that day, after dealing with figuring out this week's stories and trying not to freak out about doing this issue mainly by myself (Dre leaves Wednesday morning and the new intern Catherine arrives Wednesday night, rendering both of them somewhat useless to me), Kanoe took Dre and I out to this beautiful lookout in the mountains.

Again, it was an awesomely bumpy ride through dirt/rock roads, and it was especially fun cause Kanoe brought her little 2/3ish year old daughter along and she's ridiculously cute. Plus, Kanoe is awesome because she's lived here her whole life and she really care about the history and culture, which makes her the best tour guide EVER.

We got to an area where all the dirt was really, really red and the trees were covered in red dust (and it blew into the car like magic dust, I SWEAR) and she told us you're supposed to be able to tell how old a particular Hawaiian island is based on how red its dust is. Then she showed us this little valley that she pointed out is shaped like the bottom of a canoe, and told us how men used to bring sandalwood here and make boats. And then she showed us a place where these wood carvers live. And then we got to the lookout.

This lookout - I'll have to get the name from Kanoe 'cause I've forgotten already [Edited later: It's called Waikolu Valley Overlook] - is officially my favourite spot on Molokai. It's up in the mountains (but lush green ones with waterfalls - although they've dried up) and there's what seems like a parting in the mountains where the lookout is and you can see out to the ocean. And you're so high up that there's all this beautiful mist (read: clouds) and it's all cool (opposite of warm "cool").

Kanoe told us that there was a legend that a giant lived here and there was a settlement of people by the water. One day the giant got pissed with the people and picked up part of the mountain and threw it on them, and that's what this bit of land off the shore is supposed to be. She said scientists had shown that it should fit into this spot along the mountain, so I'm a believer.

Kanoe had to pick leaves and flowers (she makes leis, I think for her hula school), so she stayed back while Dre and I hiked a bit further up. We ended up picking berries (Kanoe said there used to be lots of berries around here, but they've since mostly disappeared). They were basically like raspberries, but funner.

Later this week Kanoe said she'd take me to La`au Point, which is where an evil corporation was trying to build millionaire estates, so I'm excited to see that. And she has promised to take me fishing, or crabbing, or some variation before I leave.

In the meantime, I have so much work to do, and Dre is having his own send-off tonight and then Catherine arrives tomorrow. Plus, I'm trying to set up the TV Todd's dad gave us so we can watch the Olympics.

Also, I need to post more about the things that are floating to the bottom of my conscious. I'm going to forget about all the little things after I leave, like the crazy number of stray cats, and the funny people I met through the paper, and mangoes! So many mangoes...

Let's just get that out of the way immediately.

I feel really bad about it, too, 'cause Jenn had to work super hard her last week here since I was away on the Big Island, and I didn't even enjoy it much. Then again, how was I supposed to know I'd have a bad time?

It all started on a sunny Thursday afternoon... *everything gets fuzzy and transports us back five days ago*

My flight was at 11:30 a.m. but Jenn really wanted to take Dre and I to this area called Mo'omomi that apparently has her favourite beach on the island, so we got up super early and drove, then hiked out there before they dropped me off at the airport.

First, I love how to get to the really awesome places here, you have to drive down crazy, half-dirt, half-rock roads. We took Todd's truck (since he's away on his honeymoon) and we seriously almost tipped over a few times, but that was part of the fun.

When we got there, we had to hike out for about 20 minutes or so, and it was freakin' gorgeous. I love lava rocks. Kanoe says they're her favourite part of the Big Island 'cause it's a younger island and they're nicer there, but I think they're beautiful here too. Super black and fun to climb on, they are.

Jenn had also mentioned this one part of the "trail" where she's always scared she's going to fall into the rocks/ocean, but I thought she was exaggerating until I got there. It's a really steep hill that kind of levels out for about a half a foot in one area, so that's where you have to walk. But it's all sand, and not that level for that matter, so you have to move really quickly not to slide down. Thankfully, we all made it (I have a picture of Jenn crossing it that I'll put on Facebook), although on the way back Dre - being the gentlemen and sure-footed hiker he is - somehow planted himself on some rocks in that spot and helped Jenn and I cross like it was nothing. I told him he makes me feel like such a girl, 'cause he's always doing things like that, and jumping off of little cliffs while Jenn and I crab-walk down. *sigh* But I'm not going to risk hurting myself when I'm about to travel to the Big Island, right?

Well, pssh! See, it's not the Big Island's fault. That's not what I'm saying. The problem was every single person I talked to when I got there on Thursday.

My plan was to arrive in Kona, spend the day and night there, take the bus to the Volcano the next morning and spend the day and night there, and finally bus to Hilo Saturday morning and fly out of that airport in the afternoon.

So my day in Kona was alright, but not spectacular. Instead of sightseeing (there wasn't much that excited me and I was too poor to really do much else), I decided to just explore the town and then go to a lu`au that night. Unfortunately, I missed the morning office hours at the hostel, so I had to walk around with my backpack on the whole day, which sucked. But I got shave ice and that was awesome. So win-lose. Eventually, I checked in to the hostel (the owner was this hippie beach bum named Zero, but he was very nice and was talking to himself about his oatmeal when I arrived), and was on my way.

The lu`au probably should have been really cool. Because I was alone (*single tear*), the usher was cool and snuck me into the VIP area, but I ended up sitting beside this man who was turning 97 that night and he kept talking to me (he asked me if I was the lady on the cover of the brochure and then burst out laughing). It wouldn't have been too bad had he not been near deaf and I had to think of creative ways to communicate. Anyway... the problem with the lu`au was that I've been on Molokai for too long. I can't stomach the super touristy stuff. From the really bored looking teenagers who unveiled the pig to the ooh-ing and awe-ing audience with their incessantly flashing cameras to the hula dancers who wore t-shirts with american flags and leis and did sign language a la Napolean Dynamite to a song about patriotism or something - it was all hard to take. The food was good though (although I always feel kind of cheated when I can't eat half the stuff there 'cause it's meat but I'm paying what everyone else is paying) and the dancing was cool. Oh! But the worst part was finding out that the hotel had been built over King Kamehameha's home - and that this was a source of pride.

It only got worse when I was in wandering around town talking to various hotel people and visitors center people trying to confirm the bus schedules. A lot of people reacted to my question like I had asked them to do calculus; apparently no one takes the bus much. Anyway, I managed to get a schedule and I thought it was going to be fine, but it just so happened that NO ONE FREAKIN' KNEW IT WAS A STATE HOLIDAY ON FRIDAY. Apparently (APPARENTLY!) Friday was Admissions Day, the day Hawaii became a U.S. state (which I wouldn't celebrate, but whatevs), so the bus wasn't even running. But did anyone tell me? No. Stupid uninformed people.

The worst part was how I found out. I woke up at 5 a.m. Friday morning because the although the bus is free, it only leaves Kona to go to the other parts of the island once at 6:30 a.m. But it should have been fine because it's more than 3 hours long and I wanted a lot of time at the volcano anyway. So I got up and waited.

Oh! And then! This guy comes up to me and starts talking to me, asks me to go for coffee, thinks my name is Spanish and is just overall annoying. I eventually get away because I have to catch the bus. More on that later.

I end up waiting there for about two hours with this youngish couple who are also trying to get out of Kona. After waiting a really long time without a bus, we realized something was up but had a hard time getting answers. It was too early for anything to be open and none of us were from there. Eventually, I find a number to call on one of the many papers in my bag and call the bus people to find out it's a holiday. And that's exactly the moment when a guy walks by and, after seeing us, laughs and tells us it's a holiday. I could have killed him. That's also when a woman arrives to open a nearby visitor's center and tells us the same thing. Where were these people yesterday???

Anyway, I'm at a loss as to what to do now. A cab would have cost around $400, I was told, so I just start walking around trying to think. Then as I see that couple I was waiting with walk away, I get the brilliant idea to pay for them to rent a car so they can drop me off in Volcano Village. So I run after them although I think I've lost them, I find them sitting down to have breakfast some place. I spend the next half hour so trying to coordinate with them as they have breakfast and with the rent-a-car people a few blocks away. I was sweating so much that when I tried to wipe the sweat off my face, my hand slid off.

Of course, that plans falls through when we find out how much it would cost to return the car in Hilo, the fact that they don't have any cars except at the airport, and the couple (Eric and Victoria) realize neither of them brought their licenses. So I've successfully wasted even more time.

So I run around to a bunch of visitors centers - I felt so familiar with these centers and these people eventually; if you ever go to Kona, I'll give you all the inside tips on who's helpful - and tried to discuss my options. One lady, after hearing my story and my deep desire to see the volcano, felt bad but all she had to offer was "well, are you ever going to come back to the Big Island?" Another guy tried to get me on a guided tour of the volcano but they all left already. Another woman tried to get me on a flight tour, but they would only sell me two seats together and she actually said she refused to let me pay that much. Then we bonded over how much it sucks to travel alone around here.

Eventually, on the advice of Eric and Victoria (plus the Lonely Planet guide says they officially don't endorse it, but it's safe and effective), I tried hitchhiking.

This was my lowest moment of desperation, walking down that highway and trying to summon the courage to lift up my arm and put up my thumb. I walked for a few minutes before I was able to do it. I first curled my hand into the hitchiking position and then forced my arms to raise. It was horrible. I actually thought, "this is what Vivian must have felt her first time as a prostitute in Pretty Woman, but not exactly..."

In any case, besides being super hot and my arm hurting for holding it up, I spent an hour on the highway trying to get picked up and no one stopped. No one! I know feel the pain of bitter hitchikers everywhere. Funnily enough, I was driving home from work yesterday and saw a hitchhiker, but I didn't stop. Oh, I had plenty of excuses, but I still feel bad.

After an hour out there, I got so frustrated that I gave up, rented an expensive hotel room (my options were a bit limited so late in the game) and vegged out the rest of the day. I watched TV in my room with Doritos, played in the hotel pool, walked around the shops and had more shave ice, and eventually got take-out from Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (one of my new favourite restaurants). I was so bummed out that day. But - and this will prove to you how impressionable I am - I turned on my hotel room TV right at the moment in Apollo 13 when Tom Hanks is finding out that despite having gone so far, that he wasn't going to get to walk on the moon... and I felt silly. What happened to him was much worse, right? So I felt better. Then I wanted to become an astronaut. Then I watched Legally Blonde and wanted to become a lawyer. And then RV and wanted to take a road trip.

So that was Kona. The next morning I - with more than a glimmer of fear that something similar was going to happen - got up at 5 a.m. and went to catch the bus again. Except this time I would have to go to Hilo to catch my flight. So I'm walking down the street and this guy comes up to me again. He asks me for coffee again - which is creepy 'cause nothing is open at this time, what would he have done if I had said yes - and when I tell him I'm about to get on a bus, he asks if I'm ever coming back. I say 'no,' and he says something like "Don't you want to be friends?" Grrrr. I had to do this twice!!!

Anyway, I end up meeting that couple again while waiting for the bus. I feel like we bonded. lol Thankfully, it shows up and I actually enjoy the three-hour trip through the hills/mountains. It was pretty. We get to Hilo around 10 a.m., and I spent the next few hours walking around. It was nicer than Kona because while the area I was staying at in Kona was really touristy, Hilo felt like an actual city, which was nice. I went to Hilo Hatties, which is a staple of touristy stores to go to Hawaii (there are shuttles that will take you there). They gave me a shell lei when I came in, free Kona coffee and let me try opening the treasure chest. lol I ended up buying a $9 aloha shirt and did a little fun ceremony thing to get my own pearl. You have to hit the shell three times and then say "Aloha" for good luck. I got a rare-ish black/green pearl. *proud smile*

Then - after dragging myself away from a movie theatre - I figured I'd just walk to the airport since it was relatively close. Well, it was too close 'cause I got there too early. So I walked away and visited Candies Big Island and got free chocolate, then went to this really beautiful state park where they were having a Haari boat race thing. Then I visited King Kamehameha's statue and walked back to the airport. Have you ever tried to walk into an international airport? That wasn't a good idea. They were not meant for that. Plus, I hadn't eaten anything because I figured I'd rather sightsee than eat, so I almost died on that airport road.

Finally! I got on a plane (although it was delayed for almost an hour) and I left the Big Island. Despite all the crap that happened, it just furthered my resolve to come back one day - when I'm old enough to rent a freakin' car. THE END.

P.S. Please stay tuned for everything that happened since then - it's happier, I promise! - later today.

I forgot to mention my mishap driving on the east end.

Dre, Jenn and I were going to the beach and they wanted me to drive the manual car. Despite my protests, they insisted that I could use the practice. So I drove. After I almost hit a truck, we decided Jenn should take over. But even then, cause those roads are really stupid and there's no where to even pull over, I almost drove off the side and then almost hit a mailbox trying to find a place to switch. That's the whole story. Taught them a lesson, eh?

Damn, I had another story but I forgot it already. In other news, I'll be away on the Big Island and then knee deep in Jenn's going away party and production in the paper, so you will have to wait until next week for your addictive dose of, uh, my blog.

Today was my trek down to Kalaupapa for their monthly town meeting. So if this post sounds like it was written by a very tired person, you will know why.

Dre and I took the mule ride 'cause he had a hook-up for free rides. That means we rode mules down the 1,700-foot trail down the sea cliffs. Besides being a little frightening at moments, it was at all times exciting and fun, and now I can ride a mule!

We left the house super early to get to the departure point by 8 a.m. Since I'm pitching a story to Outpost about the trek, I took a ton of pictures, but by the time we got on the mules, it was a bit tricky, what with the trying not to fall off and everything.

The guys there were so nice. The guy Dre knew who hooked us up played the ukulele and sang for us while we were waiting, and there were people from Switzerland and California and, uh, other places. I liked the guy who saddled us up, Bobby, 'cause he was hilarious, although you could tell he made the same jokes with every group.

Anyway, my mule was Lokelani, which means "Heavenly Rose," and she liked to eat a lot. That wasn't fun at all, 'cause when she bends her head to eat, I get pulled forward. That was scary at first, but I totally got the hang of it. Once I realized how I could use the stir-ups to keep my balance, it was really easy.

Now, you see, the trail is made up of thousands of what are loosely called steps and lots of rocks. There are also 26 switchbacks. So riding a mule is one thing. But it's another when they're climbing down really steep rocks. And it's another thing when it's a little rickety trail of rocks along the side of a cliff.

Besides being ridiculously bumpy (so much of certain sensitive areas really hurt right now), it was also pretty frightening at points. Especially when the mule is making a turn, and it just keeps going towards the edge of the cliff and only turns at the last moment (meanwhile you can look right down hundreds of feet into the water). Dre said the same thing. You know, rationally, that the mule knows what it's doing, but it's very hard to remember that when it's just teetering over the edge of some crazy rocks.

Anyway, I have some awesome pictures. I hung my camera around my neck and managed to hold it up just long enough to snap a picture whenever I wasn't hanging on for dear life. I rubbed part of my skin off on my right hand from holding so tightly. Also, although it was really nice and breezy up there, I was sweating profusely - not heat sweat, but fear sweet. To go along with my fear callous and fear aches. Dre probably had more to be scared of though, cause as we were arriving at the stable coming down, his mule stumbled a bit. It's head went down, and so did Dre's, and then when it came back up, it head-butted him. He has a bump, but he's not really hurt. It's only funny now cause he's okay. In any case, I love my mule and miss her terribly.

Of course, then there was Kalaupapa itself. You have to have a permit to go down there because there are still patients of Hansen's Disease (leprosy) who live there. There are 25 of them left, and the whole peninsula is a national park and the state takes care of them. Almost the rest of the 150 or so people who live there are just state parks workers.

The town meeting was much of the norm, except the Senator was there to officially apologize for exiling all the patients in the first place. So that was interesting. There were a few patients there, and one of them, Makia, was cool cause he was all like "I am so enraged. We deserve more than an apology," and then he went into some of the specifics.

Before the meeting, I got to walk around a bit and take pictures. They said that during the tour (which was going on while I was there, but I wasn't on it), all the patients stay in their houses so they don't get stared at by the tourists. I'd totally do that if I were them, although it sounds really sad and unfair. I'm kind of bummed I didn't go on the tour, 'cause they got to visit the older part of the peninsula that's supposed to be really pretty.

But I did walk around the town. It's so, so tiny and quiet. It makes Kaunakakai (the town I live in on Molokai) look like a metropolis. When (and if) people drive by, every single one says "hi." And many also ask you if you're supposed to be there, unless they can clearly see your visitor pass. I had to move mine somewhere more prominent to avoid that.

I'm considering going back if I can to look around more. I'd have to figure out how to get another permit, though.

Anyway, I unfortunately had to leave early to get back to the ride back up. It was a lot nicer coming up. Smoother, for sure. And when we got back, I bought a picture of me sitting on my mule (that sounds so possessive; I'd rather say "the mule I use," a la The Dispossessed) for $10, and then tipped $10. I figured that was fair since we got the rides for free - they're usually about $130 or something like that.

I got a cute package, too, with a certificate saying I survived the trek, and a bumper sticker that reads, "Wouldn't you rather be riding a mule on Molokai?" I am going to buy a car and put that on my bumper.

And then that was it! That wasn't a very exciting recap - at least, it doesn't do the actual experience justice at all. I'm going to work super hard on making my piece for Outpost much better.

Now, I need to do something about my sore... everything before the Big Island on Thursday! Woot!

A new wave of homesickness hit me this week and I've been having trouble focusing at work as a result (or maybe just in addition).

It's frustrating working so many hours on these stories and then being disappointed with all of them. I wouldn't want to use a single story from this week's paper for a clipping. As I sat down to write them yesterday, I kept thinking about questions I should have asked and other people I should have talked to. Unfortunately, we go to print on Sundays, so it's nearly impossible to get a hold of people on the weekend if I need to. Plus, I'm just worn out from writing all the time.

Thankfully, my disappointment in myself has spurred me to do better next week. Of course, I'm going to the Big Island from Thursday to Saturday, so my time will be severly limited. Hopefully I'll do better, though.

And yeah, the homesickness. Dre and Jenn keep talking about going home soon and it's like we're all just counting the days 'til we go to our respective homes. It makes it hard to be happy being here and focusing on the fun stuff to do while I'm still here. I'm constantly battling my tiredness and homesickness to try to be excited and motivated to do stuff in my spare time, when I have some. But! Maybe when the paper goes to print, I'll rediscover that sense of adventure that seems to find me here and there.

In the meantime, I talked about that thing with the journalist guy with Jenn yesterday. I didn't come to any different conclusions (or any conclusions, for that matter), but I asked her to make sure that if I'm doing something subconsciously - like not being culturally sensitive somehow - that they should tell me. That made me feel better. Even if they don't, at least I said it.

Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, I'm writing this on a Sunday - which means I should be working right now. Just hours 'til deadline! Rush, rush, rush.

So we, meaning Dre, Jenn, Kanoe and me, left during the wedding reception to go back to work (it had to be done, we're a man short!). While we were at the office, this journalist who was at the wedding stopped by. He is a freelancer based in Honolulu who writes for the New York Times mostly and has been all over the world. I got mixed up on what he was writing exactly, but either he was going to write about some of the little-known spots to visit on Molokai, or he was writing about the water issues going on here, and the touristy thing had something to do with it. In any case, he hung around for a while talking to Uncle Glen (who hangs out in the office a lot) and then he spent almost two hours trying to hook his laptop up to our wireless Internet.

I didn't talk to him at first because I was on the phone, but eventually Jenn introduced me because he brought up Paris and she mentioned that I had just been there. Once we started talking, he brought up the water issues on the island, and then he mentioned something offhand about something someone on the island was doing, which I didn't know about, and I started asking things like "on a state level?" and "which organization exactly?" and as he was answering my questions, he suddenly laughed and said "wow, you're a good reporter" and then went back to answering my question.

That really made my day, that little bit of flattery there. I'm glad I was able to ask the right questions to the point that a "real" journalist would say that.

Unfortunately, after he left, Jenn and Kanoe started talking about how they didn't get a good vibe from him, that he was one of those reporters who didn't see you as a person, but as a story, and they didn't appreciate the way he was asking questions.

It concerned me that I didn't see that in him. When I looked back, I kind of agreed that he came off like he was using Uncle Glen and didn't care what he had to say aside from what he needed. And when he was asking me about the water issues, he was just really pushy. But that all seemed like normal journalisty behaviour to me. Is that bad of me? Or is that normal? Are they being hyper-sensitive? They said he wasn't being culturally sensitive, and I got worried that I hadn't been either.

I thought about, in particular, my pitch to Outpost about the Kalaupapa trek, and if that was exploitative. This is just a sensitive place; EVERYONE has an opinion and an invested interest in preserving Molokai as it is. They don't want anyone thinking they can come here after a few days/weeks/whatever and think they know this island.

Kanoe said she's been burned by the media so many time before that she has no faith, really, anymore. She said they constantly misrepresent Molokai, which I totally agree with. When I read anything about Molokai, travel writers act like it's not worth going to unless you want to rough it. One called it "scruffy." And this one cover letter we got from an intern candidate really encapsulated the misconception. They were all like, "I want to live among a real indigenous peoples and learn their way of life." Doesn't that scream "colonizer"?

I didn't know what to think. I'd be happy for your thoughts on this. Hopefully I've given you enough information to go on. On some level, though, I'm glad I'm thinking about this. I don't want to ever get so comfortable or jaded that I stop being concerned about issues like this. Lazy journalism is dangerous, and I don't want to be a danger.

On an happier note, I got his business card. :)

First, my rechargeable batteries died, so I didn't have my camera at the wedding today. HOWEVER, Todd asked me to be one of the photographers (*blush*) so I took a bunch of photos on his cameras, so I just need to get copies, which I will do eventually.

In the meantime, it was a lovely wedding. We got there super early 'cause Jenn had to bring the kite Todd and Noe had made at the Big Wind Kite Factory with their names on it for the ceremony (side note: Dre was supposed to fly the kite, but it kept nose-diving, so he didn't, but I don't think anyone noticed). In any case, it was crazy trying to run around taking photos 'cause Todd gave me a list (we figured it was something he found online) of shots to get, like "the bride's mother zipping up her dress," and "the parents sitting down to the ceremony," and stuff like that. I was so worried they wouldn't be very good, but there was at least one other person taking pictures, so that helped.

And then the batteries died in his camera. So I used Kaneo's camera. And then her batteries died. Then I used Todd's other camera (he's a photographer). Then it was okay.

So, anyway, it was very pretty. They held it on Yamashita Bay (which I've mentioned before), and they had that altar I helped build and a tent right on the property. The weather was perfect (as it usually is here) and they started only 45 minutes late.

By the way, I'm really glad I brought my for-all-occasions dress.

They had what Kanoe referred to as "cultural preservationists" (one man and one woman in loin-cloth type clothes and leis) who conducted the ceremony and there was chanting in Hawaiian and a string that represented a connection among the entire wedding party, but otherwise it was your average wedding ceremony. I, along with pretty much everyone else, couldn't hear anything they were saying, unfortunately, because the wind in the trees and waves were so loud, but we all assume it was beautiful. In fact, I did shed a tear or two. Oh, and we can always watch the tape later, I guess, if we want to hear what they said.

The reception was nice, except it was in the morning (the ceremony was supposed to be at 9 a.m.). They didn't have a sit down meal, but stations - crepe station (the fillings were mango, chicken curry or squid lau lau), a sandwich station (all meat, so I dunno), a fish and pork station (I had the fish, including much raw fish), an omelet station (but I didn't want any), and a crackers and fish dip station (which was pretty good). And everything was biodegradable, which was sweet, and everything was grown/bred on Molokai, except the crab (I think that was in the omelets) that was from Noe's hometown of Virginia.

In conclusion, it was fun being a wedding photographer, the food was good and I had a nice time. I also liked the parting favour - a necklace made of what looks like half a walnut shell on a rope, which is nicer than it sounds.

What was also really sweet was when I went to congratulate Noe, even though she had already done the same thing with about a hundred people before me, she took a couple minutes to thank me for being so nice and helping out so much, and said I was a blessing, and that I was a big reason why they were able to even have the wedding considering everything that had happened. That was so nice of her, especially since it was her wedding day and she didn't need to think of anyone but her and Todd just then.

Later I found out Todd said something similar to Dre, that he had been really nervous all morning and then when Dre showed up, he put him totally at ease and he was really happy he was there. They're just really nice people, and I'm so happy for them. /mush

But happily tired.

Todd's wedding is tomorrow, so we went to the beach yesterday for a pre-wedding potluck and I had fun climbing on the lava rocks. They were close to the water and there were all these little pools that were being fed by the tide, and Kanoe said sometimes baby sharks get caught in there. Unfortunately, I didn't see any, but I did see a sea turtle. It was exciting and now I want to see other things... maybe a shark.

In other news, I found out my boss was in a couple episodes of a show called Byrds of Paradise, and he was Jennifer Love Hewitt's first on-screen kiss. Fun trivia!

Aside from this outing, I've been working steadily. I think I'm going to make my next post about all the interesting characters I've encountered on my stories. Not tonight, though, 'cause I have tons of work to do.

Unfortunately, I feel like I have so little time to see stuff around here. There's a rainforest I haven't been to! I am getting to go places on stories that are cool, but not enough... not nearly enough. I also have to learn how to drive the stupid manual car. It's not going horribly, though. I can drive it, it's just not pretty. Everyone keeps telling me it's totally normal to stall out constantly. Plus it's not very busy in the streets, so it's probably the perfect conditions to learn.

However! This local girl who's been volunteering at the paper the last couple of days, who is super annoying, was being really obnoxious about me not being able to swim. Urgh. I am starting to think it'd be nice to know how - and I wish I could swim 'cause the waters are awesome here - but it's so not safe to try to learn how to swim here. Oceans are scary. But it's not like I haven't been playing in the water - very carefully with supervision. lol

It's funny how my roommates have to put up with me not knowing how to swim or drive a manual car. And yet I'm a fox in the office. Yes, I said fox.

It's ALSO funny that in about two and a half weeks, Dre and Jenn will be gone (and Todd will be on his honeymoon) so I will have to show this new intern around. I'll be like, "yeah, that's the supermarket... uh, I don't know what's down that road, or that road... oh, look, the car stalled." That poor girl. But it's funny, I'm not thinking it's going to be that bad, just funny...

But I miss Toronto SO MUCH. I miss my mom and my room and my street and my mailbox and the movie theatre and my TV and buses and... oh yeah, my friends... and movie theatres and chain restaurants and blending in and Canadian money and your face... Earlier today, I was drawing little hearts around the thing on my calendar on Aug. 31 that says "arrive in Toronto at 4:10 p.m."

That being said, I'm going to kick the ASS out of these last few weeks. I heard the two Canadian interns (total coincidence) at the other paper have been taking ukulele lessons, and Kanoe has a halau hula (hula school) and I'm thinking of checking out her adults class on Monday. lol I'll let you know how it goes. Plus, I'm heading down to the macadamia nut farm on Saturday for a story, and I'm gonna buy so many nuts for my mom. And later this month, I'm volunteering with the Habitat for Humanity here for a build-a-thon - did I mention that already? If I were staying here longer, I'd have more opportunity to get involved in the community, but this is enough. I actually considered staying for a couple more months for a minute there. But then I remembered that this isn't home. And I miss you. 24 more days!